Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
