So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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