let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
3pm strippers are depressing
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
