tonight lets celebrate not being married
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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