Your dad touched me again.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ladies don't puke and tell
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
