Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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