this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
