Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're my little dorito
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
