Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
