I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
