Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My cat gives me a boner
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
