Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
