Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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