Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
