Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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