Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
