If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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