Will you blow on my dice?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
