I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
