Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
