I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
