It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
