i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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