I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
