Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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