just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
