ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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