I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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