I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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