i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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