ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
