I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
