I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
