i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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