You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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