There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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