We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
