Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
