I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
