is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
