Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
