school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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