So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
