I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
