Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
