I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
