I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
