Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
