tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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