note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
