would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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