THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
