yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
