I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
