Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
